Who wants to go out with Invader Zim?
by CuteLilSmeet
Summary: Rated for safety. Staz comes up with an idea for a love show involving Zim. Will he survive? Chapter 3 is up! Mary Sue and ZIM? I think not!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I do not own the Tallest, Zim, or Bobbie (service drone) I do own Staz (SHE IS NOT A MARY SUE!!!!!) My friends own Jez and Zitch, a big thank you goes out to them for letting me borrow them   
  
"Incoming transmission from Earth." A co op sighed. It was Zim yet again!  
  
"What do you want, Zim?" Tallest Red asked, annoyed.  
  
"I just wanted to share my latest plan to destroy the humans. I-"  
  
"Zim, right now we just don't want to hear it." Red interrupted.  
  
"Yes, Zim, we are trying to enjoy our doughnuts at the moment" Purple added.  
  
"But, my Tallest, this has to be my most diabolical plan yet!" protested Zim.  
  
"Not now," Red said, signaling the co ops to cut the transmission. Then, Staz walked in.  
  
"Daddy, uncle Red, slave 12 called me a- let me guess...Zim?"  
  
Purple responded with a "yeah" while Red agressively bit into his doughnut. Staz looked at the time. 4:36!

"NOOO! I'M MISSING THE FINALE Of 'WHO WANTS TO MARRY MY SIR UNIT... Hold on...What do you think Zim would be like with a female in his life?" She asked. Red started choking on his doughnut as Purple's mouth fell open in shock.  
  
"Staz, please tell me that you're not thinking about-"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Then why do you ask?"  
  
"Never mind, but he'd be too preoccupied to call as often, right?"  
  
"I suppose so, but you didn't answer my question."  
  
"Daddy, don't worry about it. I don't have a crush on Zim, ok? I'm going out for a while." Staz explained, leaving the room.  
  
"Doesn't she scare you sometimes? Red? RED!"  
  
Red, who was still choking on his doughnut, was becoming quite pale. Purple quickly seized his co Tallest and gave him the heimlich (or whatever it's called). Red gasped for air as his color came back. As Purple let go of him, Red confessed  
  
"Sometimes I'm afraid to find out what goes on in that mind of hers."  
  
Outside the door, Staz took out her communicator to page Bobbie, her secret boyfriend.  
  
"Bobbie, call Zitch and Jez. Tell them to gather a group of girls and meet us at Zim's house. We're gonna play a love game." 


	2. Introducing

"You know, I wish Bobbie would tell us exactly when he and Staz would get here. I'm tired of waiting on Zim's doorstep." Zitch complained to her friend, Jez.

"Hey, when do we get to meet this guy we're competing for?" someone asked from the group of Irken females.

"As soon as Staz and Bobbie get here. Where's Mary?"

"She left. She said that she needed a dramatic appearence."

Zitch sighed as she turned back to her buddy.

"Why, Jez? Why did we invite Mary Sue?"

"We were desperate, Zitch, quite desperate. Besides, someone'll vote her off." Jez explained. Suddenly, a voot cruiser fell from the sky and slammed onto the street. Two mangled Irkens found their way out of the wreckage.

"SEE? I TOLD YOU HYPER-SPEED WAS A STUPID IDEA!" Bobbie yelled at his girlfriend.

"WELL, DID YOU REALLY WANT TO WAIT SIX MONTHS TO GET HERE?!" Staz fought back.

"Uh, Jez and I used hyper-speed and we're fine." Zitch declared.

"Yes, but our cruiser is missing a brake." replied the angered service drone.

Zim, who heard the crash, opened the door to see what it was, but saw nothing other than a group of undisguised Irken girls (sorry Bobbie) and a trashed voot cruiser.

"GET INSIDE BEFORE YOU'RE NOTICED!" Zim yelled, actually dragging some of the slower ones.

"What is wrong with you?! You're on human territory! Do you wan't them to discover the Irken race? Is that it?!"

"Zim, calm down," Staz commanded, "you're on 'Who wants to date Invader Zim!"

"Yes, and it's time to meet the contestants," Jez added, "Zitch, announce the first contestant,"

"With pleasure, Jez. Bachelorette number one is a service drone from Foodcourtia, banished for her stupidity, meet Tia!"

Tia stared blankly as Zitch pushed her forward.

"Next bachelorette is an academy student as well as Staz's best friend, meet Lexia!"

"Zim, you've met the next contestant. She wants your mission and we think she wants you as well. Tak, please step forward ,"

"Next, we have yet another service drone who has been doing slave labor before any of us were born, and has a reputation for being a freak, meet Tif!"

A small female with dark pink eyes came forward and gave Zim a weird stare.

"Also competing for your love and affection is a very skilled invader who conquered planet Meekrob and warded off a box of malfunctioning SIR units in the process, meet Tenn!"

"...and last, (and in Staz's eyes least) a girl striving to please the Tallest, meet Irkia!"

The blue, almost purple eyed girl looked at Zim and blinked her eyes a few times.

"Hi Zimmy,"

"You're pathetic!" Staz snapped.

"Who asked you?" Irkia snapped back.

"You two will have time to fight later," Bobbie said, trying to stop the two from fighting (and eventually killing each other).

"Not if I vote her off first!" Staz replied.

"Aren't we forgetting someone?" Zitch asked Jez.

And then the door opened, and a beautiful Irken with almost silver antennae and blue eyes (and a dress to match).

"Here I am, Zimmy. Your future soulmate is I, Mary Sue!"

OOC: I am soooo sorry for the wait, but I've been busy. I even made this chapter a bit shorter so I could get it to you sooner. Ok then,

Who I own: Staz, Irkia, Lexia, Tif

Who my friends own: Zitch, Jez, Tia

Who amatuer writers own: Mary Sue


	3. preperation

Zim's eyes illuminated as he fell instantly in love with Reader's most Hated.

"Zim, now that you've met the bachelorettes, you get to pick your first date," Staz informed. Normally, Zim would protest the whole idea and get rid of all of them, but _Mary was so sexy. _

"I choose Mary!" Zim replied. Mary smiled in an appproving way as the others were thinking of ways to kill the Mary Sue (even they knew).

"Ok, if that's how you want to waste your time," Staz sighed.

"Ok, anyway, Zitch, book transportation. Bobbie, take Zim to a room upstairs, I'll be up in a second. Jez, get me the 'supplies'," Staz commanded. Zim seemed very confused as Bobbie led him (by the collar) upstairs. Jez returned with a box and gave it to Staz.

"Good luck, Stazzie," Jez wished.

"I'm gonna need it," Staz replied, walking upstairs. Bobbie was still holding onto Zim when she went in.

"What are you trying to do?" Zim demanded. He looked at the top of the opened box and got his answer.

"Are the two of you INSANE?"

"Oh, Zimmy, you want to look nice for Mary, don't you?" Staz assured, approaching Zim.

"No NO NOOO!!! GET AWAY FROM ME, AAAHH!!!"

Three hours later, Zim's torture was over. As soon as Staz unlocked the door, Zim darted downstairs.

Jez and Zitch looked him over and smiled.

"Wow, you two really know how to make a guy look hot," commented Zitch.

"And he smells nice, too," Jez added.

"Yeah, it's a good thing Bobbie and Zim wear the same size. He wore that outfit on our first date,"

Zim ran to a mirror and screamed.

"NOOO! I look like...YOU!" he screamed, pointing at Bobbie, "And now I even smell like you!"

"Actually, Zim, that's not my cologne we sprayed you with," Bobbie corrected, fighting back laughter.

Jez went over to Zim and smelled him again.

"Staz, is this what I think it is?"

Meanwhile on the massive...

Tallest Purple was sitting on his bed, watching Irk transmissions (TV) when Tallest Red slammed the door open.

"Hey! Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"Where is it, Purple?"

"Where's what? What are you talking about, Red?"

"You took my special cologne, Purple!"

"What? No I didn't. Why would I - Red! Let go! That hurts! Get off me! Stop it! OWWW!

Back at Zim's house...

"I'm not going out like this!" an angered Zim declared.

"You don't have a choice, Zim, your limo cruiser is here and Mary Sue is waiting," Jez stated.

"You'll all pay for this!" Zim growled while being pushed out the door. Mary took his arm as they walked toward the limo cruiser.

"Wait!" Staz called, running up to Mary Sue. She took out what looked like a crystal necklace and placed it around Mary's neck.

"It's a gift from us judges, good luck!" She said, running back inside.

"Thanks, I guess..." She mumbled.

OOC: Yay! another chapter is up! Everyone celebrate!... Ok, it will get better as soon as I have time to do so (the dreaded hi skool has me tied.) But I do write during study hall when I don't have drama. I'm sorry.


	4. Mary Sue

NOTE: This chapter is in Mary Sue's POV. You've been warned...

They want to get rid of me! I know they do... Zimmy won't let them, he'll protect me from them... Anyway, we got to the restraunt, and we're seated in the back and given menus. Poor Zimmy, I don't think he can read it. I don't think he cared though, because he'd rather stare happily at me than struggle with the menu (I know he would). A few minutes later, a service drone came to take our orders.

"I will have a salad with all of your finest ingredients. How about you, Zimmy?"

Poor guy... he wasn't familiar with anything. He just requested whatever was on special. He turned back to me.

"Tell me about yourself, Mary," He attempted to break the silence. A perfect chance to brag!

"Not much, I'm afraid. I'm just a model, an invader of four planets, a scientist, and one of the best advisors to the Tallest," I replied, most modestly, "Enough about me, tell me about you,"

"Well, I am an invader on a special mission from the Tallest!" He seemed pleased about this. I couldn't find it in my squeedelyspooch to tell him the truth, so I'm just going to let him live his oblivious lie, since that's what makes him happy. That and me...Me especially...and then he spoke again...

"Mary, what are you doing?" He asked me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"What are you doing here? You can have both Tallest fighting over you!"

"Well, I thought about it, but the truth is...I cannot bear the thought of living without you! I need you, Zimmy! Do you need me, too?"

He did not respond with words. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me, slowly pulling me closer. I closed my eyes as we shared a very intimate moment...or at least it would've been.

"May I ask you to refrain from doing that here? You are desturbing the others." That service drone ruined my moment! How dare she! Well, at least she had my salad with her. I acted depressed as she passed it too me, hoping to get his attention.

"I can't eat this! I am far too fat!" I exclaimed, pushing my plate aside.

"What are you talking about? You look great!" He assured me.

"Will you split it with me? I don't feel right about eating the whole thing." I kept my act.

"If it makes you feel better, Mary, I will share it with you." He said to me. He wants to make me feel better. Pinch me (as I'm sure you'd love to...but DON'T!). Soon after we have eaten, Zim payed the bill, and we left. Our limo cruiser was late (go figure), so we waited outside. It was uncomfortably cold, especially for as sensitive as I am. Zim noticed, and actually tried to keep me warm with his body heat! Words cannot explain how happy this made me! Not only that, but then he kissed me! I fought back tears, I was so happy! I wanted this moment to last forever. Unfortunately, the limo cruiser arrived.

It was late when we got back to the base. All the other contestants had gone to bed. We were greeted by none other than Staz, Bobbie, Jez and Zitch, who seemed to be angry at us. They started whispering to each other. I knew they knew something!

OOC: Whew! I finally had time for this chapter! Now review! Oh, and Helgoth11, don't worry, Tak and Zim will have a chance. I'll go now...


End file.
